Trials of a Survivor
by cookieemonsterr4
Summary: She could hold her breath longer and swim farther than the average person; never would she have guessed that these skills would come in handy being a cop.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this will be a multi-chapter story picking up where the season finale left off. I'm mostly focusing on Kono and how she deals with what happened but it will eventually turn into McKono… eventually. Anyway, I hope you like it!**

Chapter One: Just Keep Swimming

The ocean is a mystical body—embracing the shore, drowning sand, crashing into children's sand castles. Such a vast expanse of water can be both so very stunning and horrifying in the same moment. Home to so many, the ocean is a breeding ground for life. Yet, one cannot deny the destructive power the ocean holds. A life can be taken, a body hidden, sandals stolen, entire cities flooded by the sparkling waves of the ever present ocean.

Growing up on an island, the lingering scent of salt water was a constant reminder that the surf wasn't far. Kono Kalakaua loved to surf—she loved the waves crashing into her and throwing her from her board, the weight pushing her down as she tumbled through the water and under the wave. She loved the sand, her board, and even competitors—for they all were a part of surfing and, thus, her life.

All throughout her childhood, Kono would wake up early and go to the beach to swim. It was a bit of a walk but she didn't mind—so long as she got to feel the water. As the years passed and her skill improved, she started to condition herself to swim farther, hold her breath longer.

Chin, her older, wiser, cousin, would always laugh at her seemingly ineffective methods to build up her stamina. Of course, he was there every day and didn't notice how the seconds she added on each day—while minute individually—added up rather impressively. Soon enough, she could stay underwater for two minutes without coming up for air and she could swim for an hour before getting even the slightest bit winded.

These skills she had worked on for year and year had made her a better surfer and a stronger athlete.

Following her accident, the one that ultimately ended her chances as a professional surfer, she still maintained her ability to hold her breath longer and swim farther than the average person.

Never would she have guessed that these skills would come in handy in her new line of work.

Somehow, being a member of Five-0 had gotten her onto a boat, miles from the coast, just chilling with an armed goon. The only person that could save her right now was her cousin, her favorite cousin, Chin Ho Kelly. But she knew the moment that Malia was mentioned that she shouldn't expect Chin to pull up to the boat anytime soon. He was going to save his wife, Kono knew that, but she couldn't help that little feeling of resentment that built right in the pit of her stomach.

When the man, tall and well built, closed the phone and came closer—she took a deep breath in anticipation of what was to come.

Her lungs filled as best they could with duct tape covering her mouth. The sweet feeling of having too much air around wasn't something she was looking forward to letting go of.

Suddenly, his hands were on her shoulders and her feet were above her head as she fell freely into the dark abyss below. Quickly, just before her head went under, she took another breath and prepared herself for the impact. It was familiar, really, that sudden slap as her body hit the water, yet entirely foreign.

Kono knew what she had to do.

Using her fingers, which were free from the confines of the tape, she quickly ripped the lone piece off from over her mouth before pulling her feet up to where she could reach them.

Ten seconds had passed, she had been counting, just as she always had when she was younger and had ambitions of being a pro surfer.

As the seconds continued to tick by she made work of pulling the constraints off her feet. That task alone took thirty seconds and by then she was pretty deep in the water. Once her feet were free she began kicking and making her way back to the surface.

One minute and thirteen seconds after hitting the water, her head broke the surface and she reveled in the great feeling of being able to breathe again.

After taking a few deep, much needed breaths, she used her teeth to pull the tape off her hands before taking a moment to adjust herself. The boat was gone and her only hope was to swim to shore. Kono really hoped there weren't sharks in this area, she was fucked if there was.

Using the stars and her remedial knowledge of astrology, she oriented herself and determined which way the shore was. She knew how the guy, burly jerk that he was, had gotten here and was quite certain that if she swam to what was her right for a while, she would reach land. In fact, if her sense of direction was right, she should be no more than five miles off shore from a popular surf destination.

Turning towards what she could only hope was the shore, she began swimming. One arm above her head, through the water, repeat with the other. She continued with this thought for the first half hour, just trying to keep her mind off of all the horrors of what had just happened.

Stroke, kick, breathe. As she pulled herself closer to the shore, her resolve to not think of the circumstances that had led her here diminished. With a rush as powerful as a ten foot swell, Kono began to think of all the loss she had incurred this year.

She had lost her job, been replaced, investigated by Internal Affairs, sent undercover, thought a criminal by her cousin, abandoned by her co-workers, fell for the head of a crime family, and now this. Lord have mercy on those men when she gets back on dry land.

First she would give Chin Ho the silent treatment for leaving her for dead out there. Then she would check that Malia was okay because she wasn't heartless.

Second, she would tell Adam that they would never work out. Kono would absolutely cut her ties to him, it wasn't worth the pain.

Next, Officer Kono Kalakaua would ask Detective Danny Williams why he hadn't even contacted her while she was on suspension. She would ask how it was that he was too busy to even drop her a quick 'hey Kono, sorry to hear about the whole IA thing'.

Lastly, Kono would tell Steve McGarrett that she no longer wanted to be a part of his team. Sure, she loved her job but he had just as quickly thought her a criminal as everyone else, he didn't even give her the benefit of the doubt. And yeah, maybe she was a little attracted to him and maybe that was why it hurt even more when he had questioned her just like another suspect but that was beyond the point. He hadn't even said anything to her while she was on suspension so how was she the one at fault for not telling him about what IA was having her do? She wasn't the only one at fault, obviously.

And, when she finally reaches the shore, she is going to burry herself in a pile of Kamekona's shrimp and spend a few nights with her favorite men—Ben and Jerry.

Soon she can make out the lights of a few beach houses and begins to push herself harder. Inch by inch, stroke by stroke, she gets closer and soon she can feel the waves pulling her in towards the shore. The waves are low and the water calm so it isn't a difficult swim. In fact, if she hadn't been in the water for over an hour and a half by now, she probably would have enjoyed it.

Finally, after the most tiring and terrifying evening of her life, Kono Kalakaua felt dry sand beneath her body. She couldn't help the tears that trickled down her face as the realization that she was finally out of danger, that her life was safe for the moment, set in.

Before letting herself get too excited, she pulled her body through the sand and up above where the tide would be in the morning. Once she was there, she let exhaustion overtake her and watched as the ocean, starry sky, and comfortingly dry sand fluttered away as she drifted off to sleep.

The last thing she could think of was how much she wished her dreams of being a pro surfer would have panned out. Maybe then she wouldn't be spending her nights sleeping on a beach after being kidnapped and left for dead in the middle of the ocean. A girl can dream, right?

**AN: That's it! Kono lives! :) hope it was decent and I plan to have the next chapter up soon! If you feel like it, tell me what you thought!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and everyone who read this story! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint and I realize that it's not really the most interesting cheapter but I can't just have Kono wake up and be just fine and dandy. Anyway, enjoy!**

Chapter Two: What is Everyone Staring At?

Nearly losing your life takes a lot out of you; especially when that 'life threatening situation' involves the Pacific Ocean and a lengthy swim. Officer Kono Kalakaua, of the governor's Five-0 task force, could attest to this statement.

She wasn't sure what time she had landed on the beach last night—midnight, was it? Maybe it had been later—and to be perfectly honest, time was really not of her concern. When that wave, blessedly strong enough to carry her to the long forgotten embrace of a sandy strip of land, had dropped her head over heels onto solid ground, her first concern was getting away from the ocean.

Kono loved the ocean, no doubt about it, but it had almost killed her. Had she not been a surfer, had her childhood not been spent learning to hold her breath, the water would have snuffed Kono out last night.

Not to mention, she was tired—so very tired that the cold sand beneath her fatigued limbs felt even better than a memory foam mattress with twenty pillows and a fluffy down comforter. In fact, Kono didn't even care that there were a few rocks under her because she just didn't have the energy to notice as she let her eyes drift shut.

It was a while before she woke, and even then it wasn't on her own.

The exhausted member of Hawaii's police force was enjoying her sleep—she had no intention of facing the day any time soon. Unfortunately, one of Kono's fellow law enforcement officers didn't understand the ordeal she had just been through; he probably hadn't even known who she was when he poked her and informed her that the beach was not for sleeping.

And yes, in retrospect, Kono knew that the man was just doing his job but at the moment she had never hated anyone more. At the initial poke, her slumber was broken. The second stirred her from unconsciousness. But the third just pissed her off.

"Ma'am, the beach isn't a camp ground, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" his voice was young, unfamiliar to her ears, and lacking in a certain authority.

Carefully, and with all the strength she had, Kono rolled herself over from her stomach and onto her back before attempting to sit up. Apparently he recognized her—for his face turned remarkably pale and his eyes widened in horrified shock—or maybe she just looked so shitty that it instilled astonishment in observers.

"Wh-" she tried speaking but found it difficult with such a parched throat "Where" was all she managed to get out before Officer Soto, who's name she could barely read off his glimmering name tag, grabbed at his radio and began rattling off instructions.

"Send a bus" Soto said as he squat down and gently pushed Kono's shoulders back down as she tried to sit.

"Officer Kalakaua, I need you to stay still until the paramedics get here okay?" He asked, his voice far more serious than it had been when he first addressed her. Did she really look that bad?

She couldn't speak, that much she had already figured out, so she just nodded her head slightly and watched in horror as Soto scanned over her body.

He wasn't an overtly large man, maybe a bit more built than the average man, but nothing jaw droppingly special. Still, Kono couldn't take her eyes off him as he silently examined her exposed limbs. Soto's eyes widened when he reached her legs, she didn't have the strength to look for herself but imagined that there was something quite wrong.

"You're going to be okay, Ms. Kalakaua, just hang in there" said Soto as the distant sirens of an ambulance came closer. At some point, he had grabbed her hand and was now repeating that she was going to be okay like it was his god given mantra—she found it rather annoying actually.

Soon, he left to wave down the medics and helped them bring the stretcher to where she was laying. She felt weak and powerless as the two paramedics carefully lifted her off the ground and onto the awaiting gurney. She felt like a failure for not even being able to stand at the moment. How was she supposed to keep the peace if she couldn't even tough out a little exhaustion? Kono silently vowed to work on that once she was better.

"Alright miss, we are going to bring you to Queens Medical Center, okay? You're in good hands, officer" the older of the two men said as they pushed the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. He seemed nice enough but considering he was pulling out an IV needle to stick in her arm, she was not his biggest fan.

Without a word, the younger man started to close the doors—stopping only for a moment to talk to Soto. Kono watched idly as Soto's sandy blonde hair and mundane blue eyes vanished behind the metal doors.

Once they were moving, Kono observed the two men fussing with rolls of gauze and antiseptic solution as they made quick work on her legs. She didn't understand what they were fussing over, her legs didn't hurt at all.

"Miss, are you in any pain?" the younger one asked, to which she responded with a curt shake of her head.

"It's got to be the adrenal, push twenty mg of morphine just in case it starts to wear off before we get to Queens" EMT Hathaway, as his nametag read, said in a hushed voice he hadn't intended for her to hear.

She was getting nervous, very nervous. Should she be in pain? Was there something wrong with her legs? Why did she only feel their light touches ghosting over her legs and not the pain they had expected?

Unfortunately, Kono couldn't ask any of these questions because the last thing she had drank was salt water and her throat was unimaginably dry. For a moment, she thought that the Sahara desert had made its way into her body and was taking up residence in her mouth and throat area.

They arrived at the hospital and were immediately greeted by a doctor who promptly asked what they had.

"Female, mid-twenties, multiple abrasions to her legs and torso. She's a cop" Hathaway spoke to the doctor, who had yet to announce her name, as they made their way down a hallway leading to the emergency room.

"Alright, Ms-"

"Kalakaua" the younger EMT, who Kono did not know the name of, said as the doctor finally addressed her.

"Ms. Kalakaua, I'm Dr. Torres, and I'm going to take real good care of you and get you back in tip top shape" the doctor said before beginning to remove the dressings from her legs.

Soon, Kono could see why Soto had been so horrified. On the wall of the room where Torres had wheeled her, there was a simple mirror—no frame or special adornments, just a mirror. Well, in that mirror, Kono Kalakaua caught a glimpse of her legs and midsection for the first time since she awoke on the beach.

She mustn't have noticed what she was pulling herself over while she made her way up the beach. She couldn't even remember feeling anything but sand beneath her as she had used her arms to pull herself out of the path of the waves.

Had there been rocks there? Had she really not noticed the rough edges of what could have been thousands of rocks sliding under her tired body?

Apparently that was the case because what other explanation would justify the ghastly cuts marring her tan legs and thin torso?

Well, clearly she had gone through a little bit more than she had initially thought last night. All she could hope for now was that the adrenalin didn't wear off before the morphine kicked in.

**AN: Well, now that's done so the next chapter should have her interacting with everyone (or mostly everyone) and starting to be the badass we all know and love. If you want to, tell me what you thought! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey, long time no chat! Sorry for falling off the grid, I've had a few things come up that kind of took some time to deal with. I want to thank everyone who reviewed and read this story, its great knowing that you guys like it as much as I want you to! Anyway, I pinky promise to update as soon as I can and, to try and make up for being such a slacker, I made this chapter a bit longer :) Hope you enjoy!**

There is something bothersome about waking up to find that dryness has sealed your lips shut—the nagging pain of pulling them apart not exactly a gracious 'good-morning' from the gods. And yet, somehow, Kono Kalakaua knew this was not the worst thing that would happen to her this morning.

In addition to her un- moisturized lips, the young member of Hawaii's police force found her eyes still heavy and her limbs seemingly immobile when she woke that morning.

Kono wasn't sure how long she had been sleeping, or what day it was for that matter. The last thing she could remember was Officer Soto's concerned eyes and Dr. Torres' constant assurance that everything was going to be okay. What was it they it they were concerned about?

Like a wave at high tide, the memories of her excursion hit her. There had been _so _much swimming she had worn herself down to running on pure adrenalin, in fact she had been so determined to survive that she had racked her body over countless jagged rocks just to avoid drowning once she made it to shore. That was what all the fuss was about—her scratch marked body and near unbelievable tale of survival.

Slowly, cautiously, Kono pulled her eye lids up and was a bit surprised at the scene before her. First off, despite her original assumption that it was early morning, it was late in the evening judging by the deep blue color of the sky. Second, her room was dim and, upon further inspection, actually a hospital room and not her bedroom (which made perfect sense once she thought about it). Third, Danny Williams and his daughter—a darling little girl who Kono adored—were sitting together on the arm chair to the right of her bed.

At first, Danny didn't notice her stirring but little Gracie did and immediately perked up and started poking her dad.

"Danno look, look Kono's up" her eyes widened in happiness and she continued to poke Danny until he looked over at the young Hawaiian woman for himself.

Danny looked away from the window, turning his attention to his newly awake co-worker. Once his eyes landed on her, Kono noticed the relieved smile spread across his face but could not return the gesture. Her entire body was exhausted—from her toes all the way to her hair follicles—and the idea of moving a single muscle was just unfathomable.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty" Danny said with his goofy grin and irritating New Jersey drawl. Kono did the impossible next—she pulled the corners of her mouth up just a centimeter to form a tired smile. It was enough for Danny, she hoped, because he didn't seem to want anything more from her.

"You've been out for a while Babe, had us all kinda worried. How you feel?" He asked but all Kono could do to respond was stare at him, not sure if her throat was wet enough to allow for her to even talk.

She went through the painful motions of swallowing what little saliva had accumulated in her mouth and almost cried at the scratchy feeling that ensued. Danny noticed, thankfully, and sent Grace to fetch a glass of water and alert the nurse that Kono had awoken.

While Grace was out, Kono and Danny sat in silence—Danny unsure what to say to his friend, who had almost lost her life, and Kono just entirely unable to speak at the moment. Subcounsously, Kono's mind was throwing harsh words at the haole sitting at her bedside; she blamed it on all that bitterness she developed while swimming to shore.

Two minutes later and Grace was back with a nurse in tow. The nurse, a kind older woman who remined Kono of one of her aunts, carefully helped Kono drink the water and checked on all of her vitals. Soon after checking that everything was fine and dandy, the nurse left them to chat until Dr. Torres got there.

"H-how long was I out?" Kono asked, slightly stumbling over her first word

"Two and half days, the doctor said it was just the exhaustion from swimming all that way but for a second there I thought we were going to lose you" Danny responded in an easy tone

"I see" said Kono, not daring enough yet to mention how they hadn't missed her when she was on suspension… perhaps after the doctor came and checked her out she would have that courage.

Suddenly, Kono was very aware of who was missing from the room—her cousin, her favorite cousin, Chin Ho. He should have been there, hadn't he left her for dead in favor of his darling wife? That was bitter, she knew that, and as a cop she knew that civilians came first but that didn't stop her from thinking it. Kono had always idolized her cousin, she didn't even leave him when he was accused of stealing money from work. So yes, as a law enforcement official, she understood Chin's decision but as a now heartbroken cousin, she wasn't sure she could even face him.

There was another absence that Kono couldn't help but notice—Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett. Her boss was most certainly not in her hospital room; that was a fact she was entirely sure of. She didn't want to admit it but she was a little disappointed, after all, you'd figure that a near death experience would garner a little concern from the Super Seal.

"Where is," she paused, thinking quickly if she should ask about Chin or Steve "Chin?" Finally deciding to ask about her cousin because that was perfectly normal and, knowing Steve, he was out gallivanting after international criminals again.

Danny looked down solemnly and immediately Kono knew that something was wrong. He whispered to Grace and her face fell a bit but she quickly perked up when he handed her ten dollars and told her to 'go buy Kono a get well present'. Seeing how Danny deliberately removed his daughter let Kono assume that this was going to be quite the serious conversation.

"He's, well, Chin's up with Malia" he said and refused to make eye contact with Kono, instead focusing his attention on his knotted together fingers.

"What do you mean? 'up with Malia' why would she be here?" Kono was beyond confused. Danny better just clue her in soon because she wasn't sure she had the brain power at present to solve his cryptic gibberish.

"Delano made him choose, but you already know that," he tried to laugh a little and lighten the mood but the noise sounded strangled at best "But he didn't plan on letting either of you live, Kono. Even if Chin had chosen you, that—" Danny managed to stop himself from using some choice words and brought his clenched fist to his mouth before he lost his strength.

"Even if Chin had chosen you, Delano would have had his guy push you over board. Chin chose Malia, and the second he left the dock to go get her, Delano had her shot. Chin got there in time, he saved her, but she wasn't exactly okay. She lost a lot of blood and needed a few surgeries. She's up in recovery right now and going to be alright, in time"

Well there goes any resentment Kono held towards Malia—not Chin though, that bastard still owed her at least an apology. She may have sort of hated Chin for picking Malia over her, but at least she stood a chance if no one came. Kono could swim like a champ, Malia couldn't really push through a bullet wound. Yes, it was good that Chin had gone to her but that didn't make it any less painful—just justifiable.

"That fucking duplicitous bad guy wannabe. Who does he think he is? The Joker from Batman? Please tell me he didn't get away, please tell me Danny" Kono pleaded, subconsciously knowing that Delano had gotten away though, of course he had, he couldn't have made it easy for them—it was never easy.

Like a movie she had seen a million times before, Kono watched Danny's eyes drop and his features droop ever so slightly. This was the face he had when he was tasked with telling a family or a victim that they didn't catch whoever had harmed them, that their son or daughter, husband or wife, mother or father, would not have their attacker brought to justice at this time. Kono never thought she would be on the receiving end of this glance.

"We've got him on all the most wanted lists, airports are watching for him, but he's already disappeared. Dammit Kono, I wish I could tell you that we had him in custody right now but I can't. We're going to find him though, I promise" he was sincere in his words and Kono knew that he wouldn't sleep well at night until Delano was back where he belonged—behind bars—the main-lander was very loyal that way.

"Good, he deserves to pay for what he did. You or McGarrett better call me when you get him, I'll be waiting to hear from you. Actually, speaking of our deal Super Seal, where is he?" Kono asked, trying not to let it slip that she was a bit disappointed at his absence.

Danny gave a short laugh and pulled his chair a bit closer to her bed

"Steve is out of the country, chasing down god only knows what with Joe White. I don't think he even knows what happened yet, of course if he did he probably wouldn't be here anyway" Danny rolled his eyes as he said this, probably thinking of his partner's questionable at best antics. "And what do you mean, call you when we find him? You'll be right there with us"

Kono looked down at her hospital blanket covered legs in a bit of shame. Not so much shame, more of sadness she supposed because it was a sad moment having to tell a friend that you couldn't just go back to how things were. Kono wasn't sure if she could work alongside Chin right now or if she could relive that swim everyday she walked through the doors to headquarters. Knowing that it was her job that put her in that situation in the first place made her think that a bit of a break would be good. Maybe she wouldn't flat out quit, as she had perhaps planned while swimming to shore, but she would be taking some time off.

"I just, I need some time, I don't think I can just go back" she couldn't vocalize the rest of her thoughts—her fear that they would never find Delano, that Chin would always pick someone else over her, that she wasn't a good enough cop to keep everyone safe (she was kidnapped for Christ's sake, how could she possibly be fit to keep the public safe?).

"You'll come back when you're ready. You're a kickass cop, Kono, and I'm sure Steve will keep your position open until you're ready to come back." He gave her a smile that she tried to return.

She didn't have the heart to tell him that she wasn't sure when that would be. Kono Kalakaua knew she wanted to be a police officer, she just needed the time to realize that again.

"I hope so, it might be a while though"

"I can wait, I'm very patient. I can't say the same for Steve, you might have him breathing down your neck after a few weeks"

She laughed with him at his joke about their missing co-worker. Kono sort of hoped that he did, it would sure beat the complete lack of communication she got from everyone when she was suspended for something she had done _with_ him. She also saved all of their asses but hey, who was she to hold that over them?

Before they had a chance to say anything else, Dr. Torres swooped in and began rattling off information for Kono about her recovery. She would need pain medication, cream to keep the cuts from scarring too badly, cleaning solution, lots of gauze and medical tape, and a lot of rest to get back to normal. Beyond all of that though, she was going to be perfectly fine, no lasting damage and just a few scars.

Of course, the physical scars were the ones everyone would ask about, no one would venture to question the gashes left on the inside by this whole ordeal.

**AN: So no big blow out fight because, well, I just don't see Kono starting an argument in a hospital when she is exhausted and can't really express her madness from a hospital bed. I hope I explained the Chin-Malia thing okay; basically, Kono gets why he picked her and is sort of happy he did because she would have died otherwise, but she is still a bit hurt that he left her for dead… I mean, come on, almost anyone would be a bit hurt by that! That's all I have for now, review if you want and I'll try to have the next chapter out soon! **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story and to everyone who has taken the time to read it! It means so much to me knowing that someone, other than me, is enjoying this story. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Enjoys :)**

It had been just over a week since Kono's little mishap with Delano and his men. Sitting in her cramped living room with a half full beer, she couldn't help but think of how paranoid she had become. At night, it always seemed like it was still happening, and during the day it felt as though they were going to come back to pull a redo.

Of course, she knew how ridiculous that was—Delano had more important things to do than come back and torture her… he was a man on the run for Pete's sake, accidently alive victims were the least of his worries. Beyond that, he wasn't even in Hawaii. The last tip anyone had gotten about his location was that he had fled to Moscow before hopping on a train that went all throughout Eastern Europe. Basically, the conniving bastard could be anywhere in the world he wanted.

And Kono was still here, on the island, where she had grown up and spent most of her life. This world of beach goers and vacation crazed tourists was familiar to her—it was home. Not only was it home because it just so happened to be where she lived, but Hawaii was where her heart had taken up residence. She had seen all the other beach oriented, tropical, tourist and major surf stops around the world and not one of them called to her like her native Hawaii did.

Fiji was nice and almost as lovely, but it was lacking something that she couldn't quite place. Australia was just a huge no considering the extensive list of dangerous species that inhabited the oceans and crawled on land there. California didn't have the same appeal as Hawaii either, it was something about too many movie stars trying to look talented on a board that dissuaded her from the mainland hotspot.

There were plenty of places all around the world that she had visited, but she always came back home—back to where she had more cousins than she could count on her fingers and toes combined, a mother who loved her, and friends who would always stand beside her.

Yes, Hawaii was her home. After the accident though, it didn't quite feel as safe.

Suddenly, the new car parked across the street was watching her—never mind that the owner of said car was actually just visiting his ill grandmother and not stalking her. The mail man with the too-big smile was tracking her schedule and reporting it back to Delano—because god forbid someone be nice while just doing their job. And that navy blue truck that just pulled in to her drive way was one of Delano's men here to take her and drop her further out in the ocean—of course it was, it couldn't be that it was Steve McGarrett, finally back from gallivanting off across the globe, here to see her.

Then, as luck would have it, the bulky figure that emerged from the truck was her absentee boss. For a moment, she wasn't sure how to feel—excited that he had cared enough to stop by when he got back, or pissed because he hadn't had the decency to do this when she had been suspended. Kono soon decided to feel nothing at all and pretend that she wasn't home.

It was easy enough until he actually got _to _the door and knocked. All she had to do was sit perfectly still and he would leave her alone.

But it wasn't that easy, because god forbid Steve McGarrett make anything easy.

There was a resounding knock at the door and Kono had to remind herself to stay still. This wasn't some ex-boyfriend of hers that would leave after knocking once—she knew that much. Steve would not take her absence lightly until he knew for sure that she wasn't home… and even then there was a pretty good chance that he would wait at her doorstep until she came home. Unfortunately for her, she was already home and he was already at the door. Funny how things work out.

Had this been a few months ago, when she was suspended, she would have gladly answered the door, thanked him for checking up on her, and, not by choice mind you, told him to leave. Back then, Kono had a cover to maintain and having Steve McGarrett hanging around her house would have shot that out of the water. Of course, she wouldn't have hated the attempt—she would have rather appreciated it actually.

He knocked a second time and Kono could just picture him standing out there with his face scrunched up in annoyance and his arms crossed over his chest—most likely covered by one of his thousand and one grey t-shirts.

"Kono, you home?" he asked through the door, the beginning signs of impatience evident in his voice. She was struggling to stay still any longer—her nose itched, the cuts on her stomach were burning, and the pain medication was wearing off.

Currently, she was putting all of her might into staying seated in her worn out blue recliner. The chair was situated so that the back of it was to the front window and was facing the sliding doors that led outside from her cozy kitchen.

A third knock and her resolve nearly broke.

His fourth followed just seconds later and she couldn't stop her feet from swaying down from beneath her and carrying her body toward to door.

Steve had most definitely heard her get up and was likely waiting for her to pull the door open. Still she hesitated, almost believing that if she just stood there he would go away.

"Come on Kono, it's McGarrett—open up" she started to shake her head as she removed the deadbolt and chain from her door—recent additions to her home following what happened with Delano. She wouldn't call it excessive; excessive was the security system her mother had insisted be installed the second she heard about was happened. Damn over protective mothers.

"Boss, haven't seen you in a while" Kono said as she pulled the door open just enough to stand facing him. Her voice may have been a little harsh but what else was she supposed to say? Thanks for the invisible flowers while I was in the hospital, they really brightened my day?

He always seemed to have this habit of disappearing when she needed him most. She called him, actually, while she was working with IA, but he was busy with something else and had let it go to voicemail—not that he bothered to call back. It had been a rough day and Kono wasn't sure if she could do it anymore so she called him and was going to tell him everything. She was afraid that she was in too deep, that he was going to find out and have her killed. Thankfully he didn't but that didn't stop the fear—nor did it dispel the nagging feeling she had that Steve needed to be looped in to what was happening.

"You look-" he paused, probably to find the right adjective that described her rugged appearance "Well I'm not going to lie; you look like crap Kono" he tried to stick a light hearted smile to the end of it but she wasn't buying it.

"Thanks for putting it so kindly" she said, sarcastic as ever. The pain medication usually mellowed her out a little but, as it was fading, Kono was in pain and a little bit bitchy.

He didn't say anything for a moment before asking if he could come in. Kono obliged, albeit reluctantly. Slowly she stepped to the side and pushed the door open so that he could come in to her quaint home. Currently, the small house was far from clean and the scattered pill bottles and anti-biotic creams scattered across just about every surface were not making it look any nicer.

"So, what brings you here?" Kono asked as she watched him look around the open living room and kitchen. She couldn't read his reaction—big shocker there.

"Just checking how you are. Danny told me what happened; sorry I wasn't here" He wasn't facing her when he apologized and, for that, she was grateful. If he wasn't making eye contact, she could pretend that he didn't mean it.

"Well I'm fine, you don't need to check up on me. I'm perfectly capable of handling myself; I managed on my own when I was working with Fryer so a few cuts isn't going to kill me" She knew that the resentment was sort of uncalled for. It wasn't Steve's fault that Delano had her kidnapped and tried to kill her while he was out of town doing god knows what.

"I'm your boss Kono, I can check how your recovery is going" maybe he hadn't gotten the little notice that she was on leave until she felt comfortable coming back. Why else would he think that the 'boss' card was a valid justification for his unexpected visit?

"I'm on leave"

"Doesn't mean I stop caring about your wellbeing" Steve said after a moment of pause.

Kono had to keep herself from snapping that he hadn't been there a few months ago—reminding herself that he had been imprisoned for part of her suspension. Still, there had been a period of time where he was free and clear and she was still suffering from a mistake they had made _together_.

"Alright, well, I'm fine—good even. I'm sure you have more important things to do, so just check 'visit Kono' off and go do whatever is next on your list of chores" She knew how he would react to this, most likely with his signature Steve McGarrett aneurysm face and a little spiel about how she wasn't a chore. Almost immediately, Kono wished she hadn't said anything just so she she could get rid of him faster.

"Dammit Kono, you're not a chore" he left it there and pinched the top of his nose in annoyance.

They were both silent for a moment, neither sure what to say or do next. As Steve wasn't looking like he was going to say anything, Kono took the initiative and started talking.

"The doctor said I'll be fine, it doesn't even hurt anymore really. She said I should count on a few scars but other than that, no lasting medical concerns. See, I'm fine, I'm going to be okay" Kono looked at him the whole time she was speaking, trying to make sure he knew that she was being sincere. So what if the line about the pain was a bit of an understatement and right now it felt like there were flaming matches being dropped onto her abdomen, Steve didn't need to know that.

"Good, come back when you're ready" he said before side stepping around her and putting his hand on the door knob. Kono didn't turn around to watch him leave, in fact, she almost missed his last words as he pulled the heavy front door open and stepped out into the warm afternoon sun.

"Delano will pay for this, I'll make sure of it personally" said Steve before shutting the door with a resounding thud and making his way to his car.

As soon as Kono heard his words she ran over to the door and pulled it open, needing to say one last thing before he left.

"Hey, McGarrett, when you get him break a few of his ribs for me" she yelled from just outside her front door.

"How about I let you do that, and slap the cuffs on him" Steve said with a slight smile before waving and getting into his truck without another word.

Somehow, Kono knew that he would try his damn best to get her to be there when they finally got Delano. And knowing that, she had a feeling this wasn't the last she would be seeing of Steve McGarrett any time soon.

He was stubborn, that man was, and apparently 'on leave' meant absolutely nothing to him.

With nothing left to say and no one there to say anything to, Kono shook her head and walked back inside.

Once back in the safety of her home, the deadbolt locked and the chain in place, Kono scooped up a bottle of pain medication and a tube of cream that was supposed to help the cuts heal faster and with less scarring. Maybe the rest of her time off would be without interruption and she could recuperate in peace.

Who was she kidding? If Steve had any say in the matter, her time spent at home would be riddled with visits from her boss and constant inquires about when she would be coming back. Oh joy.

**AN: So, Steve has finally returned :D and that means that things are going to get more interesting and maybe they will finally catch Delano. Hope you liked the chapter, if you feel like it tell me what you thought! Anyway, new chapters should be coming more frequently because after Saturday I am officially done with school (until august anyway) and done with the stress of giving a speech at graduation. YAY! Next chapter should have more about what Kono is dealing with mentally since almost dying :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Once again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed and read this story. Hope it hasn't disappointed you and it has been an enjoyable read so far! Anyway, thanks again for reading and hope you all enjoy this next chapter!**

There is a certain calm in the air just before a storm. Sometimes hours before, other times just a few minutes prior to the first drop of rain. Having grown up on an island, Kono was accustomed to this and could tell you—with reasonable certainty—that a storm was brewing based solely on instinct. Screw the weather man, he was just some haole with a fancy degree, what did he know about reading the signs?

Right now, Kono could feel it in her bones that this was going to be quite the storm. She hadn't really caught the news but her phone was informing her that it was going to be 'partially cloudy with a chance of rain' which was weather person talk for 'I have no idea what is going to happen today so better cover all my bases'. Nitwits.

Had this been just a month ago, and not a weekday mind you, Kono would be grabbing her board and heading to the beach just a few minutes down the road. But this wasn't a month ago. This storm was happening today, two weeks and three days after Delano's failed attempt to murder her. So no, Kono was not heading to the beach. In fact, she had developed a habit of avoiding the ocean all together—even looking at it gave her the creeps.

Today, Kono was going to ride the storm out on her couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and _The Notebook_. All she had to do was hope Steve didn't make one of his impromptu visits and she would be set. No one would even have to know that she owned the decidedly girly film let alone enjoyed watching it.

Just as she was about to walk out the door, she heard the phone ringing. Only one person called her house phone (an expense she wasn't really sure why she even had), and that person just so happened to be her mother. She did not have time to listen to her mother's worries right now, the storm would probably start within the hour and she still had to run to the store to pick up a pint of New York Super Fudge ice cream. Surely momma Kalakaua would understand.

On second thought, Kono would just pretend she had been out on a run when her mom called—that was much safer than telling her that she just didn't want to answer because the grocery store was calling her name.

Even though she wasn't going to answer, Kono stuck around just long enough to hear the message her mother was leaving for her.

"Hi, you've reached Kono Kalakaua. Please leave a message after the tone and I'll get back to you" Kono heard her pre-recorded voice coming from the answering machine in the kitchen and made a mental note to change it. It had probably been a bad day when she recorded that, as she sounded entirely pissed off and the biting sarcasm was clear in her voice.

"Kono? Are you home? You're not screening your calls are you?" Kono rolled her eyes at this, remembering the time a few years ago when she had tried to explain the concept of 'caller ID' to her mother… it was not a well-received topic of conversation "Well, anyway, I just got off the phone with Chin Ho and he told me that you hadn't stopped by since Malia got out of the hospital. I know you're mad at him sweetie, but you can't hold it against him forever. Neither of you will tell me what happened but I doubt it really necessitates this-this coldness from you." Right then, Kono knew she made the right decision in not telling her mother what happened that night on the boat. Chin was her nephew, one of her favorite nephews at that, and learning that he had left Kono for dead in favor of his wife might have crushed that relationship between Kono's mother and cousin for good. She might still be angry at him, but he didn't have to face the wrath of her mother—that would just be downright cruel.

"Well, I invited them to lunch on Sunday. I hope you're there this week because I will not tolerate you skipping out on anymore family events. And don't you even try to pull the 'I have to work' card with me because Chin Ho told me that you took some time off. Anyway, lunch will be at the same time as usual and I expect you to be there. You don't even have to talk to Chin Ho if you don't want to.

"I love you, Kono. I just want you to be happy and happiness starts with family. Okay, well call me back when you get home—there's a storm coming and it feels pretty substantial. Aloha" her voice cut off and there was an audible click as the answering machine stopped. Well, at least it was one of her shorter messages and it didn't touch on the usual topics (those topics often included how becoming a police officer was a bad idea, how she never had time to date, and when was Kono going to settle down and live a normal life for Pete's sake?).

With nothing else stopping her, Kono set the alarm system (a 'gift' from her mother after what happened) and headed to her car.

The ride to the store was boring by just about any measure. There was hardly anyone on the road, it hadn't started to rain yet, and the only people she really passed were young kids with surfboards strapped to the roof of a car or tucked safely under their arms.

Soon after reaching the cgrocery store, Kono had her ice cream in hand and was headed back to her air-conditioned house for a relaxing movie night.

It wasn't until she was half-way home that she noticed the detour signs directing her away from her usual route home (a one-way street that connected to the road her quaint house was located on). Well, looked like she would have to just suck it up and take a longer way.

Longer wasn't really the problem here—her car had plenty of gas and driving was actually something she enjoyed—the problem was that the detour signs were directing her to the only other road that would connect back to her street. That road happened to run right along the beach, meaning that for the first time since she was dumped into the black abyss a few weeks ago, Kono Kalakaua would have to see the ocean.

Not quite what she had planned on doing today. Actually, she hadn't planned on facing her new found avoidance (it wasn't fear, _fear_ would imply a weakness, and she was _not _weak) of the ocean for at least another month or maybe even two.

Yet, as she drove by the vast expanse of blue, Kono got the sudden urge to pull into one of the empty parking lots. It wasn't that she wanted to get out and move closer to the unforgiving, remorseless body before her—she needed to.

Once the car was safely in park and she had pulled the keys from the ignition, Kono found herself walking towards the beach and the constant whirl of crashing waves. For a moment, the sound was soothing until she was close enough to actually see each wave.

It was so violent—a constant beating of the shore and never ending cycle of waves rolling up the beach only to pull back and leave behind a dampened stretch of sand. She pictured her body tumbling through the crest of the wave and landing in a body heap on a pile of rocks instead of the kind sand that lined this beach. Kono imagined how her body was tossed like a rag-doll by the very same ocean in front of her.

Had she almost broken her neck? She couldn't remember, but the image she had in her mind of falling so gracelessly gave her a feeling that she definitely could have.

Without warning, a powerful wave came crashing to the shore and the farthest reaches of it touched Kono's feet. Feeling the salty water beneath her feet made it seem like she was reliving it—like the ocean was going to take her back and not let her live this time. She was so powerless compared to what was in front of her. Kono's round-house kick didn't even stand a chance to the horrible crushing blows the ocean could dole out at any given moment.

She wasn't sure why she was still standing there, petrified and frozen in place on the beach, as a storm rolled its way in. She should have gone back to her car, back to her house, and curled up on the couch as the rain assaulted her roof and windows. Kono should have left the beach, but she didn't.

Instead, she found herself standing there just staring at the water and wondering how the hell she hadn't died. She had been tossed haphazardly from the top of a wave, crushed beneath a few more, then almost pulled back out by the water returning to the ocean.

This, this right here, was more terrifying than Delano and his men. Sure, they could put a bullet in her or do god only knows what else, but they were still human—still capable of being killed and held responsible for their actions. No one walked around telling the ocean to go sit in the corner for a time out after it stole a little boy's sand bucket, no one issued a warrant for arrest when the rip tide claimed the life of an inexperienced surfer, and no one grounded natures largest swimming pool for beating up someone smaller.

The ocean just got away with everything—from murder to bullying—and there was nothing anyone could do to stop that.

It was the overwhelming thoughts back to the day she had almost died and the realization that she could easily be sucked back in right now that made Kono sit down right where she was. The waves weren't quite reaching her feet and the rain was hardly even a sprinkle, yet she there was a waterfall running down her face. There was nothing she could do to hold back the silent tears and relentless memories of her last experience with the ocean.

Kono wasn't sure when it happened—was it five minutes later? Or had she been there for an hour?—but eventually she heard the distant, and entirely familiar, sound of a truck pulling into the beach parking lot some thirty feet behind her.

"Kono!" his voice boomed and his door slammed shut. She tried to stop the tears and wipe them away but it was entirely futile.

He didn't say anything when he reached her side—not even a jibe about how she looked like a lost puppy left out in a rain storm. He just squat down next to her and, in a way only he could pull off, informed her that he was going to pick her up now and get her out of the rain.

"Screw you McGarrett" she said through her sobs. Yes, the universe clearly hated her, because why else would her boss be the one to show up and find her like this? Clearly she did some pretty bad shit in a previous life and this was just payback for that. It better have been worth it because this was so not how she envisioned her day.

"Not like this" he said sarcastically as his arms came around her back and legs to scoop her up bridal style and he started walking towards his truck.

Her day had taken a turn for the unexpected and certainly unwelcome. Goddamn construction ruined her perfect movie night and the stupid ocean just _had_ to bring up all these feelings relating to the whole 'almost dying' fiasco. Not to mention, she was currently balling her eyes out into the already rain soaked chest of Steve McGarrett. Not even one of those corny circus psychics could have predicted this.

Once Steve had safely deposited her into the passenger seat of his truck and buckled her in, she had just one thought on her mind; her lovely half pint of ice cream was sitting just ten feet away—probably melting and trying to destroy the nice interior of her car with its sticky goodness—and if Steve didn't grab it this whole trip would have been for nothing.

"Wait," Kono said just before he closed her door. He looked up, an expectant look on his face and rain splashing like popped water balloons onto his head and shoulders "At least grab-grab my ice cr-cream" she said through her sobs.

Steve did as she asked and Kono was slightly relieved. At least her unexpected excursion to the beach hadn't been completely wasted.

The ice cream may have been a little melted but it was nothing a little time in the freezer couldn't fix. The same could not be said for Kono Kalakaua. It would take a lot more than time to repair the damage hurricane Delano had caused.

**AN: So, I hope that came across decently. Basically the ocean is now a big black cloud over Kono's existence and all she can think of is how she almost died in the one thing she has loved all her life. Don't worry, this isn't the last time Kono will face the ocean—obviously Kono wouldn't just give up and let fear get the best of her. She's probably going to kick fear's ass, figuratively speaking for the ocean. Anyway, next chapter will be out soon! Oh, and if you want to, feel free to tell me what you thought! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Well, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. It means so much to me to get your input on the story and it is lovely to know that you guys are enjoying it as much as I am. I'm sorry that it has taken so long but I had serious writer's block and could not get this chapter to flow. I'll try to have the next chapter out soon and hope I haven't lost too many readers due to my tardiness! Anyway, all the best to you and I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)**

Why the heck had she agreed to come? Better yet, why had she _chosen _to wear a dress?

The first question could be answered quite simply, and with really only one word—Steve. That bastard had not only driven her home but had made sure she got into her house (which she was perfectly capable of—being nearly killed didn't harm her ability to twist a key and push a door). Once he was inside, it seemed that the fates had decided to rain on her just a _bit _more by having her mother call again.

"_Kono, I need to know if you will be coming for lunch on Sunday. I just got off the phone with Malia—who is doing fine by the way, something you would know if you had bothered to visit—and she really wants you there. I don't know what this little tiff is about but you need to let it go, for the sake of your family. Call me back when you get this, Kono"_

And that was how McGarrett found out that she hadn't gone to see her cousin and his wife since the, ahem, accident. Livid wasn't quite the word she would use to describe his reaction. Perhaps frustrated, a little disappointed, and angry were more accurate. Kono knew that he was right when he went in on telling her why she had to go—_Chin is your family, Kono, you don't turn your back on ohana—_but who was he to insist that she just forgive and let go of the fact that Chin had left her in the middle of the ocean to save his _precious _Malia.

Her argument had been pretty good—_right, he is my family, my ohana, and ohana doesn't forget people, no one should be just left behind—_and the anger, a sign of the fight still left in her, made it quite a strong comeback to her super-seal boss. Of course, their little argument lasted nearly half an hour before Kono finally gave in

"_Fine, I'll go" she spat as she angerly pulled two glasses from her kitchen cupboard. _

"_You'll go?" Steve responded, a hint of disbelief in his voice. It wouldn't have been noticed by anyone who hadn't spent quite a bit of time with him—in fact, Kono wasn't sure if even Danny and Chin could read him as well as she could. Sometimes, it felt like she was looking in a mirror and others it felt like she didn't know him at all._

"_That's what I just said" asshole. She added the last part silently before rolling her eyes and harshly setting the empty cups on the counter and rummaging around through the bottom shelves of her kitchen._

"_Good" was all Steve said as he crossed his arms over his chest and tried to decipher just what it was that she was doing. Her searching had garnered her with a bottle of scotch—with only a few drops left—and a quick trip to the fridge had produced an unopened six pack._

"_Now that you have _forced_ me to go to that stupid lunch, you want a drink or not?" she asked and held out one of the beers to him._

Over all, it hadn't been nearly as bad a night as she thought it was going to be when Steve 'superhero' McGarrett swooped in and pulled her away from the outer edges of the ocean. They had watched reruns of some old cop show that was on TV and laughed about how inaccurate it was and how stupid the main character's mustache was. She had gotten pleasantly tipsy and things almost seemed normal again. Almost.

Kono was good to her word, showing up on Sunday afternoon for lunch with her whole family—Chin and Malia included. So far, she had gotten by with just a short conversation with her mother and quite the knack for dodging Chin whenever he was nearby. Up until about two seconds ago, her quickly turning corners and slipping through doors had been working, but Chin had her cornered in the kitchen now.

"Kono, please" that was all he had to say for Kono's anger to start to ebb away and make room for a little of the love she would always feel for her cousin before her.

"I'm sorry" Kono said, her back to him as she looked out the window at her sister chasing a giggling little boy—her baby nephew.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, cousin. I should be the one apologizing" Chin, ever the voice of reason, said and Kono could picture him leaning back against the counter with that pensive look on his face as he carefully considered her next words. She turned around slowly and was pleasantly pleased to see that her assumption was correct.

"No, Chin, I'm sorry that I'm mad at you" he tried to interrupt but she silenced him and continued on "You made the right decision, when you went to Malia instead of me, that was the right choice—I know that and you do too. And even though I know that and accept that you did what was right by going to your wife, it doesn't stop the-the _pain_ I feel every time I even think about what happened. I can't hate you, because if you would have come for me, Malia—well she would be dead right now. So I'm sorry, because I'm not mad at you, not really, I can't be, and yet, I think a small part of me is" they were both silent for a few moments before Chin spoke up

"You know I'm sorry, for how the whole thing went down"

"I know" she said as he paused, or maybe that was the end of what he was saying, it was sometimes hard for Kono to tell.

"You need to come back to Five-0. It's not the same without you and every person McGarrett interviews for the position leaves with either a terrified look on their face or tears. Usually tears" she laughed a bit at this, knowing that Steve had interviewed those people to please Danny and on her insistence after she yelled at him and forcefully pushed him out of her house informing him that he might as well find someone new because she wasn't sure if she could go back.

"I know" Kono said, a little bit solemnly, as she dropped her head to avoid Chin's cool gaze.

They stood in silence for a few more moments—Kono just fiddling with her hands and Chin observing her movements. She knew that he could see the edges of the bandages still stuck to her legs sticking out from beneath the bottom hem of her dress (just another reason for her to regret her choice of attire). There were only a few left—one on her left and three on her right—and she only suspected that two of the wounds on her legs would scar. The ones on her stomach, though, she wasn't so sure of. The cuts there would either fade away or remain rough an a constant reminder of what Delano had done to her.

Kono's cuts and eventual scars were the outside effects of this trauma; the visible part of what had happened to her. No one had made her go to therapy and no one, not her mother, not Chin and especially not any of her civilian friends, knew of the internal scars—open wounds still, really—that were marring her life.

"I'm sure that Danny and Steve would be glad to have you back. And I would be, I don't think anything could make me more happy, actually" there was a soft smile at his lips and Kono looked up with a similar look tacked to her face.

"I'll be back, soon. Just promise me one thing, okay?" she asked and held Chin's gaze as he gave her a questioning look.

"And what would that be?" asked Chin. His question was met by a slight smirk and an answer he should have seen coming.

"That you'll be standing right next to me when I slap the cuffs on him" he laughed and promised her that he would indeed be there.

They talked for a few more minutes about the case the boys had just recently taken on—a missing man who had last been seen by his wife the night before he went missing. They didn't have many leads but Kono knew they would find the missing husband and anyone involved in the crime. Once talk of the case was over, Chin told her that he would call her once the case was over to see if she wanted to come back—they wouldn't even force her to do all the paper work if she didn't want to.

The cousins' little catch up session was interuped by Kono's mother asking her to bring out the salad and join them in on the lani for lunch.

It takes just a few seconds for Kono to have the salad in her hands and for the pair of them to be moving towards the door.

"Hey Chin" she said, just before he opened the sliding glass door that led out to where everyone else was just setting in for lunch. He looked back as her and gave a slight nod to indicate that she should continue "Make sure that Malia knows I don't blame her, will ya?"

"Of course cousin" he said with an easy smile before opening the door for her and following her out to the table.

Kono plasters a smile to her face and sets down the salad before taking a seat between her older sister and her only nephew. Her sister, Kai, gave her a smile before reaching over her and scooping some food onto little Gavin's plate. Kono pushed her hand away and told her to enjoy her meal and just let her watch the two year old.

With a smile Kono finished putting some food on the little boy's plate and smiled when he looked up at her and simply called her 'auntie'. It was nice having only little Gavin to worry about for now. He was a happy little boy—content to just be chased around the yard or watch Caillou or Little Einstein's—and it didn't take a genius to realize that everyone in the family was fond of the toddler.

Regretfully, Kono didn't spend that much time with the boy. She was always at work or surfing or making plans with other people, and so Kai and Gavin had sort of slipped through the cracks. Gavin didn't seem to notice her neglect though because he still smiled at her and clumsily said 'I love you' to her every time that she did see him.

"Eat your carrots, Gav, they'll help you grow big and strong" she said with a kind smile before scooping another few more onto his plate. His carrots were diced to a size suitable for a two year old and guaranteed too small for him to choke on.

"No no no no" he complained as Kono handed him his airplane spoon. He took the spoon and slammed it back down on the table—effectively getting the attention of most of the adults at the table.

"Please buddy? Don't you want to be strong?" he nodded profusely "Well, you better eat your carrots little man" she said and handed him the spoon again. This time he took it happily and began shoveling a few orange cubes into his mouth at a time.

"You're so good with him" Kai said from Kono's right. She just looked at her sister and smiled

"She's right, you are very good with children Kono" said Kono's mother from a little ways down the table. She just rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming next—the usual little spiel about how she needed to date more, she needed to settle down, have kids of her own, and living the life she did didn't really leave much room for a family. By this point in her life, Kono was actually pretty use to her mother's complaints about her life. They were by no means welcome but they no longer frustrated her—she knew that her mother just wanted what was best for her daughter. And maybe that did make her an overbearing mother hen, but hey, at least she didn't set Kono up on dates with men she had not interest in.

And so the meal carried on with Kono caring for little Gavin, Chin and Malia answering all the questions that mama Kalakaua could muster, and a silently accepted notion that Kono didn't want to talk about what had happened to her.

To an outsider, the meal would appear so devastatingly normal that the idea that anything was wrong would shock them. So Kono sat through the whole thing, a smile on her face, and pretended that everything was normal—even if just for this moment.

The world and her problems could wait, this was the time for her to imagine that Delano had never shown up. Right now was her imaginary dream world where that _rat_ had never ruined her life. For now, life was like Gavin's laughter—light, airy, so full of potential, and so innocent.

**AN: there we go! Another chapter down and one step closer to Kono rejoining her team and going after Delano once and for all. I hope the dialog between Chin and Kono was believable and I have no idea if Kono has a sister but it sort of worked for my story and, come on, Kono playing with a sweet little boy is cute. Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed and feel free to review! I will try to have the next chapter out before I move in to my new home (which is a bit of a liberal term considering it's a dorm room I'll be sharing with two other people, what a blast… Yay college!) on September 1****st****.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: hehe funny story, turns out, when you move, you have to pack and that can't really be done the night before like I had planned. Oh and college, especially general chemistry, is really time consuming. And How I Met Your Mother is really distracting… Anyway, I haven't even been able to watch the whole first episode (or second for that matter, my laptop hates CBS apparently), but I'm sure my story is now entirely AU. Too bad :) Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and read this, I love hearing from you guys! Here's the next chapter, hope you like! And I'll have the next chapter out soon! YAY LONG WEEKENDS!**

Chapter Seven:

She was enjoying a nice, lazy Wednesday (since she was still on leave, every day was capable of being a lazy day) that even Steve McGarrett had managed not to ruin so far. Kono had been able to clean her whole house, go grocery shopping, do some laundry, and even watched the last half hour of '_The Breakfast Club'_ on tv before anything disrupted her.

That anything wasn't really a thing. More of a who. A who that Kono was _not _enthused to hear from. Not after four and a half weeks of complete silence from the man who was supposed to be her boyfriend. Yeah, she figured that not at least calling after her accident was sufficient grounds to end things.

At first, she had almost thought that it was McGarrett. He had developed a pesky habit of dropping by, usually a few times a week, and bugging her about coming back to work. His surprise visits became far more frequent following the whole 'ocean freak out' incident. She was halfway to the door of her bedroom before she even doubted that it was Steve.

Kono hadn't gotten rusty during her time off, in fact, she had rather become more observant. She kept a mental record of all the cars that stopped outside her house, the faces of the delivery men and women who came bearing packages, even the habits of her direct neighbors. It wasn't paranoia, not in her mind anyway, just constant vigilance.

It was the second time that her visitor knocked that she knew for a fact that it wasn't Steve making one of his visits. McGarrett would knock twice with his whole fist, making a loud banging noise against the door rather than the usual knock. His knocking was very similar to his personality; curt and powerful. The person on the other side of the door, the not Steve, knocked three times, lightly, most likely done with just the first two knuckles.

Noticing the distinct difference, Kono stopped in her tracks and reached for her gun—which was sitting conveniently on her bed side table. Once she was armed, she quietly made her way to the door and looked through the peep-hole.

Adam Noshimuri was standing outside her door. Great, just freaking perfect. What a lovely surprise.

Had this had been, well, even three weeks ago she would have probably opened the door right away and listened to every word that Adam had to say because one week wasn't so horrible. One week could be explained by lack of knowledge, work, heck, she would even take blinding anger! But four and a half weeks, just a few days over a month? Kono Kalakaua was far too strong minded and independent to fall back into Adam's arms after that much silence.

"Kono? Kono please just listen to me" a muffled voice said (_whined was more like it_) from just beyond Kono's closed, locked, and dead-bolted front door. "I know you're there, please, open the door"

She didn't _want_ to listen to Adam right now. She didn't even want him within one hundred yards of her for Pete's sake! Somehow, his not visiting her in the hospital, or calling her when she got out, or even sending her a goddamn 'glad you're alive' card didn't really make Kono feel like entertaining her once-lover. _Once_. As in past tense. Meaning not anymore.

What didn't he get about that? He was like a little terrier nipping at the feet of an angry German Shepard… Yep, he was asking for it.

She tucked her gun into the drawer of the end table next to her front door. The table was overflowing with mail and she made a silent note to go through it later. Then, with far more force than necessary, Kono twisted the lock and undid the deadbolt before yanking the door open. Adam was standing right there, fist up and at the ready to unleash another set of rapping at her door, only the door was gone now so all he could do was let it drop.

"What do you want?" Kono asked harshly, not letting her face betray her or show any emotion.

"I want to talk, I want you to listen to me. Please, Kono" he begged from the top stair leading to her front porch.

"No, Adam, I'm not going to listen to you. Not after you went _weeks_ without so much as a lousy text message asking if I was even alive! You don't get to stand there and act like the slighted boyfriend when you didn't even have the decency to check on me after I was nearly killed. You can't—you can't do this" she said, waving her arms in the air between herself and her ex (though he seemed to think differently) boyfriend.

"Do what, Kono? Care? Act like your boyfriend?" Oh how dare he act like she was being irrational! No way in hell was that going to fly, especially not when she had woken up this morning to find one of her supposedly healed cuts on her stomach trickling blood onto her previously clean light green sheets—a stinging reminder about what she had gone through ever so recently.

Adam wasn't there when they stitched her up, or when she had to rub that vile concoction over her wounds, he wasn't even there when they took the first set of sutures out. He didn't get to act like he was the dotting boyfriend, not after being absent when she needed him. Of course, he probably thought that he was protecting her, 'keeping her out of danger' by staying away. What a load of bull shit.

"Act like my boyfriend? _Act _like my _boyfriend_? Well, you are doing a pretty great job of _acting_ when it is convenient to you, Adam." She snarled, a glare firmly in place.

"Jesus, I'm not acting, can't you see that I was just trying to—"

"Protect me, right. You're always trying to protect me." Kono folded her arms over her chest and looked down for a moment before meeting Adam's gaze again. He still didn't seem to understand why she was frustrated, why his 'protection' wasn't enough to hold off her anger. Idiot.

"Exactly!" He smiled, actually smiled, as if he was elated that Kono finally got it! Look at that, they were finally getting somewhere and in a few seconds everything was going to fine and dandy. They could finally get their relationship back to where it was and quite possibly be happy again. All she had to do was accept that Adam was protecting her, which clearly she had, right?

"Yeah, we're done" said Kono simply, shaking her head slightly as she watched Adam's face contort in confusion

"What are you talking about? I was protecting you, you know that" Adam said softly as he reached out and put his hand to her cheek, softly running his finger over the contour.

Kono moved her hand from her side and placed it over his. He smiled slightly at this, still disillusioned into thinking that she was going to fall right back into his arms.

"Adam, you were protecting me but I didn't _need_ protection. I needed you to be there when I couldn't sleep, when I thought Delano was staking out my house, and I needed you when I was lying in a hospital bed after I nearly drowned. I needed you, not your protection." Kono pulled his hand off of her face and let it drop back to his side. "Can't you see that? You weren't there when I woke up, or when I was released from the hospital, or at any time in the last month. So we're done, over. This-" she motioned between the pair of them"-this isn't happening anymore. I'm sorry, but we're through"

Kono took a step back, returning to her position under the door frame—just out of Adam's reach. He was silent for a few moments before shaking his head and looking at her with a look that spoke of pure contempt.

"You're ending this because I wanted to protect you, that's great Kono, just great" he glared at her but didn't move-standing his ground right outside her front door. Kono rolled her eyes at his idiotic statement, unable to keep the thought of how dense he was being out of her mind.

"No, I'm ending this because I needed someone to stand by me when I was hurt, not hide in the background." Kono gave him one last, albeit sad, smile and took a step forward, lightly kissing his cheek. There was finality to her movement, no lingering or underlying emotion, just a silent end to their relationship.

"Goodbye, Adam" she said and began closing her front door.

"You're making a mistake" Adam said, still stoically in place—stubbornly in denial that Kono had actually broken off their relationship. For a moment he reminded her of Gavin whenever she would be tasked with baby sitting and it was bed time. He would adamantly refuse and insist that he was not tired at all, he would then try to prove that he wasn't only to wind up passed out on the couch, or floor, or one time even the kitchen table, twenty minutes later.

"Maybe. Maybe not though" she closed the door on him, both metaphorically and literally, and let out a deep breath.

She stood there for a few minutes, waiting for him to leave—to hear the familiar creaking of her front porch steps as he took the two remaining steps down from where he was standing. He paced a little then just stood there, before he finally left her house.

Once he was gone, Kono allowed herself to slide down the door to the ground but wouldn't let any tears fall. It wasn't that she was broken up over this that had her feeling down, in fact she felt fine considering she had accepted that this relationship was over a few weeks ago when Adam still hadn't shown up to even check that she was, well, alive to begin with. Kono was just having a bit of difficulty comprehending that she had actually broken up with him—that she hadn't pulled back on her offensive and collapsed right back into his arms.

"This is how it should be" she reminded herself. He was the head of a major crime family, she was (or would be again, rather) a police officer; they could have never worked together. Because no matter how hard they tried, or how good the sex was, they were not going to make it if he honestly thought she needed protecting at a time like this.

She'd deny it if anyone ever asked, but she sat there for nearly half an hour before getting up, walking to her room, putting on pajamas and spending the next hour rocking out to Pandora radio as she finished cleaning her room. Once all of her laundry had been gathered from the outskirts of her room (how one of her bras had ended up tucked halfway under her dresser with a sock clipped to the hook was beyond her), Kono all but collapsed onto her bed.

Cleaning up her hurricane destroyed room had exhausted her, not to mention, dealing with Adam was quite strenuous. When all was said and done, she hadn't managed to even get under the covers, let alone set her alarm system or turn out the lights before she passed out.

Despite that, Kono slept like a college kid on break. Until there was a hand on her shoulder and someone sitting on her bed. Yeah, that sure woke her up.

**AN: Super sorry about the wait, hope this somewhat makes up for it! Yeah, Adam is out of the picture because in my world he didn't randomly show up and save Kono because she is a badass and can save herself, thank you very much. And I don't like him nearly as much as I like Steve :) I'll have the next chapter out soon, sorry about the cliff hanger and, if you feel like it, tell me what you thought!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Well, look at this, a brand new chapter that didn't take a month to write. Weird. Anyway, good guesses on who was sitting at the end of Kono's bed but WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It **_**was**_** going to be Steve but I had a sudden change of heart and realized that this was better than what I had in mind. And let's face it, if Steve was breaking into her house, he wouldn't have been daft enough to sit on her bed and not expect an ass kicking. By the way, thanks to everyone who reviewed and what not, really appreciate it! Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter :)**

Chapter Eight:

She didn't open her eyes to see who was there, it didn't really matter did it? There was someone sitting on her bed and, last she checked anyway, she lived alone. Whoever this intruder was, she was going to get her first look at them once they were on the ground and she had then pinned. That's what she had planned and that was what was going to happen. Because no one got to sneak into her goddamn house, sit on her goddamn bed, and get the goddamn drop on her. No way in hell.

For a moment, okay maybe longer than a moment, she even hoped it was Delano. Kono honestly _hoped_ it was him so that she could kick his ass for everything he and his twisted Sophie's Choice had done to her life.

What a rush it would be to roundhouse kick him before the sun even came up. What a beautiful thing to wake up to! Her morning would just be off to the best of starts if she could just kick his sorry ass the second she was conscious. Even just a little bit, she'd be fine with stopping before any permanent damage was done, honestly. Just let her at him.

In all likelihood though, it was more probable that John Cusack would show up outside her window, boom box and all, than for that bastard Delano to be sitting there—all wrapped and ready to be beaten—so she wasn't really counting on it. Hoping? Sure, absolutely actually, but actually counting on it being Delano? No sir, not in this lifetime.

With all the fluidity and ease of an actually sleeping person, Kono rolled ever so slightly over so that she would be in prime position to take out her visitor. For a moment, she even silently thanked her laziness for not bothering with blankets; it was so much easier to wake up kicking and fighting when you didn't have to worry about those pesky things!

Once she was set and prepared, Kono swiftly swung her leg at where she presumed the intruder had taken up a perch. Like a well-aimed arrow at a target, Kono hit whoever the hell it was (they were strong, the muscles of their abdomen contracted and gave little leeway to her admittedly powerful pick) in the stomach rather unexpectedly.

After the first kick, she followed it up with another and was on her feet and in a fighting stance before they could even regain their composure. Of course, once she was standing directly beside her bed, the surprise visitor crumpled on the ground, she had also opened her eyes and now knew who had just, you know, unexpectedly dropped by at 5:37 in the freaking morning.

"Dammit Kono, what is wrong with you? You can't just go around kicking people. Jesus, who raised you, a pack of wolves?" as soon as the words were uttered, she wondered for a moment if he could even hear how ridiculous this was. _He_ had snuck into _her_ house and was bitching her out for it! At five thirty in the morning for crying out loud!

"Sorry Danny, but you did kind of break into my house" said Kono as she extended her hand to help him off the floor. The New Jersey native gave her a look as if she had suddenly sprouted a new head. Apparently, just showing up in the wee hours of the morning seemed perfectly acceptable to him.

"I knocked. And the lights were on, how was I supposed to know that you were asleep?" Danny asked, now smoothing out any wrinkles he had gotten from his quick acquaintance with Kono's, recently cleaned might she add, floor.

"It's five thirty in the morning, why on earth would I be awake?" she asked, her adrenalin now gone and the tiredness from having just woken up setting in.

"Steve thought you'd be up" well, that explained a lot. Steve apparently seemed to think that everyone got up prior to sun rise naturally and that the whole 'not having to work' and 'not really interested in surfing at the moment following the whole almost drowning incident' would not factor in to her not waking up before the birds even started chirping.

"And you listened to hi—"

"Enough, Kono, we have a case babe. Let's go"

Kono actually laughed at this. Had Grace thrown something at Danny's head recently and given him some type of cerebral hemorrhage that was impacting his memory at the moment? Did he honestly forget that she was on leave still? If the answer was yes to anyone of these questions, chances were he should be working let alone driving in the early hours of the morning.

"Danny, I'm on leave, remember?" she tried to keep the laughter out of her voice, not wanting him to think she was crazy as well as physically tattered. Not to mention, she had seen the blond man go off on McGarrett for far less at far more reasonable hours and, let's face it, she didn't want to listen to one of his emotionally charged rants right now.

"Do I remem—of course I remember. But we have a case, and we need you so," he made a swooping motion toward the door "let's go."

There was something in the way that her teammate (not former, she was planning on going back… eventually) said that he—they rather—needed her that made Kono drop her resolve to stay away from police work. Obviously it wasn't field work, that pesky psychologist still hadn't cleared her for that, so the team needed her to do something from the office. Background checks? Track a suspect or victim? Do their paper work that has been sitting there since Five-0 started? Kono honestly couldn't guess exactly why they needed her but the fact that Danny came to get her instead of just calling was all the push she needed to go back.

"Can I at least change first?" Kono asked. Her question was met with a look that said both 'no' and 'why are you even bothering to ask' all in one. He must have mastered that one while driving with Steve—that man had a habit of putting himself and those around him in incredibly dangerous positions.

"We don't have time, Kono." Danny walked over to a pile of her laundry and tossed her the freshly folded grey hoodie that was sitting on top of the pile. "Just put a sweatshirt or whatever on and lets go"

Once she had caught the offending article of clothing and was in the process of unfolding it, Danny started towards the door. He didn't leave much room for argument or opportunity to dispute what he was saying (demanding really), must be a trick he picked up from parenting.

"Do I have time to brush my teeth at least?" she yelled after him as she walked out of her bedroom and into the hallway Danny had just disappeared down. Kono remembered to flip off the lights, that way no one else randomly decided to visit her since having a light on is invitation to waltz right in at any time.

"Brush them later. There are some wisps and probably some gum in the car and don't you have a toothbrush in your desk?" at this point Danny was already out her front door and making a b-line for his car.

"Fine" Kono let the conversation drop. She had managed to pull the sweatshirt—plain black and somehow still a little warm from a recent trip to the dryer—and was now just a few paces behind him. Of course, he was in the car before her and complained when it took her an extra five seconds to get in and close her door.

It was weird, seeing Danny drive his own car. Somehow the car had become more Steve's to her than Danny's, probably due to the fact that McGarrett was the one driving 99% of the time. Sitting in the passenger seat felt even weirder to Kono though, as the last time she had sat shotgun was when Steve was driving her home after the ocean meltdown (and she was talking global warming).

"Wait," said Kono, suddenly realizing what Danny had said a few minutes ago "Why would I have a _toothbrush_ in my desk?"

Upon arriving to headquarters Kono came to quite the realization; this was the first time she had ever gone to work in her pajamas. It was funny to her how Danny was all dressed in his usual get up (stupid tie and all!) and she was walking alongside him in her hot pink sleep shorts and sweatshirt as if this was perfectly normal.

Actually, Kono started wondering why she hadn't started doing this earlier. It took so much less time to just roll out of bed and go to work (especially since she wasn't allowed to brush her teeth or even think about bothering with make-up). Walking into the actual office though and noticing how Chin gave her a peculiar look and McGarrett gave her, well, actually he wasn't paying attention to her and Danny's arrival—too engrossed in the map up on the big screen.

"Nice choice of attire, cuz" Chin teased once she reached the table, nudging her slightly with elbow.

"Shut up" she responded, rolling her eyes and trying to smother a smile.

"Alright, so we have two missing kids last seen on outside the Hilton off of Waikiki beach thirty two hours ago. We've got a possible hit on the kidnapper's location, a storage container on the north shore. Danny, Chin, you're going to the storage building with me, Kono—you're here in case we don't get to the kids before he calls again. You are to stall him as best as possible and, what the hell are you wearing?" Steve said most of this while still facing the TV, pointing out the storage facility and the area they had it narrowed down to, until he finally turned around and noticed her less-than work appropriate attire.

"Danny wouldn't let me change" she responded with a shrug. Chin flinched a little

"Or brush your teeth apparently" muttered her cousin before digging around in his pocket for a moment.

"Or brush my teeth" she said and rolled her eyes a bit as Chin slipped a piece of gum into her hand. Kono replied with a quick thank-you before returning her attention back to the case.

While she was having her little exchange, she failed to notice that Steve had been taking extensive notes on her wardrobe choice. The shorts—while perfectly fine for parading around her house in—were a bit short and had this tendency to inch further and further up until they could probably pass as underwear. Steve didn't know _that_ though, only Kono did, and she had checked before walking in that the blasted shorts were at a semi appropriate length.

Well, Steve certainly was silently appreciating the shorts (not that Kono really noticed, except for when right after she popped her newly acquired gum into her mouth and happened to notice that he was looking at her. Strange) Kono was infuriated that Danny had managed to make her look like an unprofessional, lazy, slob on her first day back. Her first _surprise_ day back. Kono had to give them props for that, it took real skill to trick someone into going back to work.

"Alright, Kono you know the drill. Buy us as much time as possible—he shouldn't call for at least another hour so you have time to read the file. We should be able to find their hide out by then but if not, you are our last hope. Got it?" She answered McGarrett's question with a quick nod before leafing through the first few pages of the report.

"So Kono is all set here, right?" Danny asked, and was met with three head nods "Then let's go get those kids. I can't stand the girl's mother for one more freaking minute. I swear to _God_ that woman is the devil reincarnated"

All three men made their way out of the office and towards the storage facility. Chin simply pat her shoulder, a silent welcome back, before leaving. His gesture made her forget about everything that had happened in the past month. Kono could pretend right then that he hadn't left her in the middle of the ocean to save his wife and that her life wasn't riddled with the scars of the whole ordeal.

But it was just pretend.

Chin didn't know about what had happened a few weeks back on her first trip to the ocean. Only Steve knew about that and he was doing his part in keeping it between them. Chin didn't know about her newly installed security system or her constant vigilance when she was alone. He didn't know that she sometimes woke up thinking she was right smack dab in the pacific again with nothing but sheer will to push her through. He didn't know, he couldn't know about these things.

Steve was the last to leave, having gone to his office to grab another file for her on the case before leaving.

"You good?" he asked as he set the thin manila folder down on the table in front of her.

Kono nodded her head, a half smile playing at the corner of her mouth. She was so far from good that, compared to her, Voldemort looked sane. Her body ached but it was nothing compared to what it mentally took to wake up each morning and fear what she loved most; the ocean. All Kono wanted was to dive into the water with her board and let the waves crash around her. But even the thought, the mere _thought_, had her mind and body screaming no.

So no, Kono was not good, she was not fine, and she was not about to admit that to anyone let alone her Navy Seal boss.

"I'm good boss, go save those kids" she said easily with a smile that was almost genuine.

Once Steve left, Kono went to work with reading the files and becoming familiar with the case. It felt so normal, so familiar, that she felt nearly right for the first time in a month. Helping with this case and working to save a few innocent little kids made her feel like she had a purpose.

It might have helped that she was also thinking about how getting back to work would mean that she could start tracking down Delano and make him pay for what he did. Unconsciously, she looked down at her legs and the pinkish scar that jutted down a few inches from the bottom of her bikini line into her upper right thigh. There were a few more like this one (six others, not that she was counting) but this was the only one currently visible and the sight of it made her feel slightly sick from rage.

Frank Delano didn't get to just shimmy into the scene, take a sledge hammer to her life, then slither away just as quickly as he came. He was going to pay in hard time, or with his life depending on how the chase went down… She wasn't exactly opposed to putting a bullet or two or five into him.

When the time came, Kono would be ready. She couldn't afford not to be.

**AN: So that's it, the longest chapter I have ever written for this story (that I remember… I don't actually keep track of the word count but this one felt pretty long) and I hope it didn't disappoint! Now that Kono has been tricked back into working expect more team shenanigans and what not. Okay, well review or message me with what you thought if you feel like it and I'll have the next chapter out as soon as I can! On a side note, I didn't proofread this so if you find something monumental (or miniscule) that needs fixing, feel free to tell me.**


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